I cannot believe that in exactly 10 days my little girl gets
into her school uniform for the very first time and heads off to school.
It feels like only a little while ago I was holding my baby girl
for the very first time. The first thing she ever did in her life was not cry,
she was a very quite little girl but was in fact sneeze and wee at the same
time- talented from the very first seconds of her life. I knew from this day
the love I had felt before this day was nothing, and this was something incredible.
From here the next step was kinder. They try and tell you that
it is easier for your child if you make it quick and sweet at drop off as your
child will already struggle with being out of their comfort zone. Not for my
little Hayley, she was off like a rocket as soon as she stepped foot in that
door. As for me I sat in the crying for a good two minutes knowing this was the
first step of my little girl growing up into a big girl.
Then there is school…. A part of me wishes I kept her back a
year just so I could spend some more time with her, but that would only be
selfish of me. Hayley is more then ready to grow and there is only so much I
can teach her at home, she’s a sponge soaking up every bit of knowledge she
can. Not only that Hayley needs a social life and to make some friends around
this area. School is also a great time for me to make some Mummy friends around
this area because at current I do not know anybody with kids around in my area.
I don’t know how I am going to cope when I wave my baby girl off
and turn away from the little girl I know… I do know I will be wiping away many
tears and my heart will be shattering- but it is for the best.
I have no idea how parents can take their child to school for
the very first time with not a worry or care in the world. For me it is the
fear of not being able to take care of her and more then anything keeping her
safe. Schools are a big place, where you can often become bullied or meet the
wrong group of friends. Primary School I believe is what shapes you into the
person you become when you are older and all your experiences impact your later
life.
Not sure if this is just me or not, but it also means that most
discipline and hard work you have done to raise your child goes out the window
as it becomes apart of their everyday life and school and teachers see your
child more then you do and their rules usual apply.
Just another stepping stone and chapter in Miss Hayley’s life
and I know deep down she is scared. Out of nowhere three nights ago we were
sitting on the couch and she turns to me and says, “ Mummy you know when I miss
you at school.” She then points to her heart “You will always be here wont you.”
I then tell her “Of course I will,” But before I can finish my sentence she
then says to me.. “ And Mummy when you miss me just look in your heart and I will
be there, I promise.”
This girl has a heart like no other person I have met on this
planet and I am so lucky and proud to be able to call her my daughter.
xx
