I am totally sorry to my Mum, and hope she accepts my childhood apology. I do recall my Mum saying to me “Just wait until you have kids” and something along the lines of “ I hope when you have kids they are shits like you”! I would always think to myself nope, because I am going to be the best Mum ever. No matter how BEST your game is you ain’t got nothing on a kid with attitude.
And I am only finding this out now with two trying kids in two different ways. One thinks she knows everything and the other I swear is a one-of- a kind devil spawn sent to me from a very hot place!
1. “I don’t care who started it, finish it NOW!”
The constant bickering and arguing is en
ough to turn any sane person insane, I swear when your children learn to talk and argue you loose a little piece of your sanity.
2. “Your face is going to freeze in the wind like that”
Pulling faces and mocking one another, or worse yet pulling faces at me is a weekly occurrence in this household. And I also recall doing this all the time to my Mum and getting the same response- I guess the apple doesn’t fall far from the tree huh!
3. “Nobody said life was fair.”
“That’s not fair, Hayley got bla bla bla” Who on Earth gave you the impression that life was going to be fair little Misses? Reality check life is only ever going to get harder…
4. “Money doesn’t grow on trees”
Ahh, one of my favourites! You give them an inch they run with a mile and never look back. The amount of times I’ve gone out and they want this or need that is endless. Can I get a “YES PLEASE” for money trees?
5. “Chairs are for sitting on not standing on.”
Because you know the cool thing to do as a kid was be different and stand out. See what I did there *forehead slap* I don’t know what appeals to kids and standing or climbing on things but they love doing it. If I recall correctly I used to drive my Mum mad with this, revenge is a dish best served cold I guess.
6. “Just wait until Dad gets home, you’re in big trouble.”
Dadddddy to the rescue! Generally by the time Dad’s home the issue has rolled over or I have just forgotten about whatever it was that had me mad… Only the off occasion that Dad will find out and serve the punishment- go to your room!
7. “Because I said so, that’s why! What part of no, don’t you understand”
No ifs, or but’s about it! I am the adult and what I say goes… IN MY DREAMSSSS! “You’re a mean Mum, you always so no” Kids tend to remember all the times you say no as apposed to those times you say yes, funny how the little critters work.
8. “Begging is not going to change anything, if it did I would be a beggar.”
“Please Mum” “Pretty Pretty please with cherries on top” Doesn’t wash with me, but the dropped lip and puppy dog eyes almost gets me. Their continual begging and sweet talking is a daily deal. And sometimes you give in and make a deal with the devil. “Ok, only if you clean your room”. MATE your room should be ALWAYS clean DAMMIT!
9. “I am sick of living with pigs, nobody likes living in a pigsty except pigs!”
Can I get a big fat OINK! Sometimes I imagine my family to be fat, pink and have curly tails when cleaning up the trail of mess they leave behind. The state of my house probably 70%, no maybe 80% ok… 95% of the time is not the pristine expectation of someone’s house and this is also 95% due to the fact I live with pigs.
10. “Casper the ghost must have done it then.”
I’m sure just about every family has a Casper roaming around through their walls and houses and nobody seems to do anything. And if they did do it, they sure as hell wont admit to doing it.
What are some of the things you feel as a parent you say on repeat?
